The search #1

Here I am, back in the job search. I feel even more conflicted than I did two years ago. Looking at the housing placement web-site, I kind of get excited to think of all of the "fun" jobs. Then things happen that make me think I REALLY don't want to be in housing again. I don't want to be over worked, and under valued (I can live with under paid, as long as I feel valued). I don't want to do other peoples job because they aren't willing to do it.

I also feel conflicted because I would really like to be closer to my friends in Kansas City. So many of them are getting married or are married, and I know if I live far away I will miss out on things that I don't want to miss out on. I will also miss on regular things like, just laughing, or drinking wine, watching TV, going to archivers and scrap booking. I feel like I miss so much by living far away, and when I visit, I don't feel like I can do all the things I want to do or spend all the time I want to spend with friends.

I want to stay in housing, because I know what it can be, It can be a place that creates community, and friendships that will last a life time. Housing shows people that they are valued, that there is a safety net for them when they fall (literally or figuratively). I know what housing can be and I want to do THAT (to be part of THAT), but right now, my job isn't letting me do THAT and I can't help but wonder, if I stay in the field will I ever really be able to do THAT?

If I were to write a job posting for my dream housing position it would read something like this: Small private institution, must value people and the changes they can make in their life and the lives of others. Christian background. Understand the importance of knowing a residence name. Alcohol free campus. Reprimands those who do not do their job, and praises those who do more than their fare share of the work. Values autonomy, and always has the time to REALLY know how people are doing.

I'm such an idealist. Damn it!